Like a wave washes over an unsuspecting child,
emptiness fills my heart.
Pain and loss rush in like a gust of wind,
taking over my moment without warning.
For just a second, I lose my breath,
I am overwhelmed and surprised by it all.
My life has mostly returned to normal,
moments like these come less often.
People around me no longer suspect,
that these moments even occur.
A single tear spills out over my cheek.
For just a moment I let myself feel.
For just a moment I let myself miss you.
For just a moment I let myself grieve.
For just a moment I am lost.
And then life moves on again
without warning, like the breeze moving on.
I go back to the list of normal things I must do,
do the laundry, get the groceries, go to the bank.
The kids still need baths and naps and watching,
the house still needs my attention.
But you are not here in this normalness,
I miss that you are not here for this.
But life moves me back out of this moment,
the children make me smile and laugh again.
The tear and moment forgotten as quickly as they appeared.
But just for a moment I was a little lost without you.
[In remembrance of the fathers who have gone before us]
Vicki L. Pugliese