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Introspective Sojourner

The journey inward following Christ’s path to that person I was uniquely created to be.

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Encouragement

All My Life You Have Been Faithful

All my life you have been faithful. All my life you have been so so good.

‘Cause your goodness is running after, running after me.

From the Titusville Presbyterian church with the wall of organ pipes that are like the breath of God, where I first sang songs to you.

From the vacation Bible study somewhere in Cherrytree Pennsylvania where I learned the joy of singing of your love.

From the Hydetown Baptist church where Pastor Larry Hellein touched my heart, and I first came forward to your alter. Where I was baptized and pledged my life to you. Where a youth group strengthened my faith and Gordon Turk and Ken Jackson taught us your word. Where I sang my first solo and almost never sang another, that was so scary.

From the Free Methodist youth group that showed me everyone is accepted and loved.

Your goodness is running after, running after me.

From the Navy Chapel in bootcamp, to the one on Fort Meyers where I clung to what I knew.

From the Assembly of God church, and the boy’s God parent’s, Gary and Sharon Seifrit, who scooped up a broken little family and took them in and set us on a right path again.

From the Navy Chapel in Pearl Harbor and the choir that adopted a little single parent family. Where the officer’s women’s Bible study took in the one enlisted female looking for a morning Bible study and loved her so well. From the Navy Chapel’s choir and single’s group that helped me renew my faith. Where Pastor Stephen Sloat led and deepened my walk with you and looked out for a young me searching to be loved.

From a Pearl Harbor Sub Base Chapel and it’s choir that accepted and loved me and Jerry and started our walk with you.

Your goodness is running after, running after me.

From the Folsom Presbyterian Church that became Journey church, with Pastor Del Burnett who made Jerry and I part of a church family. With Pastor Keith Posehn who made Jerry and I youth group leaders and filled our lives with the joy of service, and the youth group kids who loved us as much as we loved them. From Pastor Toby Nelson who taught us Greek and “Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think according to the power that works in us” Eph 3:20.  From Pastor Mike Umbenhaur and Pastor Dave Huusko who continued our faith journey at Journey church. And the choir we sang in so diligently. Learning how to sing with all our souls from Anne Indermill and Len Jones. Where Anne and Mark Indermill and Bob Surridge encouraged me to try another solo. That was probably my last.

While the prayers of a Bible Study with Marya Morgan, Ann Patchen, Yvonne Roe and Jan Williamse prayed for me constantly and loved me through the death of my father.

Where Journey church and Hope Church taught me that splitting a church is never a good idea, and my heart was broken, as half the people I loved chose to move away from the other half that I loved. Where my heart died a little more as members moved on to other cities and other states.

Your goodness is running after, running after me.

Where Sophie Agricola and Lee and Jen Stacy showed me, I could find another church family at Vintage Grace church. Where Pastor Drew Sodestrom rekindled my faith and gave me phrases like #ButGod #WithGod, “God’s better is better” that preserved me through a dark season of job loss and a pandemic. Where my faith became trust and seeking your face deeper than I had ever before. Where a Life Group sustained my daily walk with love, and hands that showed me your love in a very tangible way.

Your goodness is running after, running after me.

To Ohio and the Rivertree Massillon church and Pastor Jake Garmany who has continued our journey as we live closer to my family. To the Bible study led by Doug and Sonji Gregory who deepen my faith and give me a home to talk of your great love and amazing power.

And all my life you have been faithful. All my life you have been so so good. With every breath that I am able. I will sing of the goodness of God.

So many friends who I’ve met at church and work and school. You have filled my life from every corner. Through every season. My life is so full it is overflowing and I pray your love spills out of me to everyone you have brought me to love, and everyone who is in my life. From the stranger in line at a cash register to the best friend I could ever ask for Faith Thompson. To my faith journey partner Jerry Pugliese who encourages me and supports me and worships you with me. May your love spill over into their lives so that they might feel your presence as I have… all my life and into the lives of my children and grandchildren.

May the years I have left be more of the same. Thank you God. Thank you Jesus, I am so grateful for your goodness and love.

Oh Lord hear my prayers and worship.

By Vicki L. Pugliese

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He’s in the Whisper

“And after the fire there came a gentle whisper.” Do I wait long enough for the Lord? Do I know His voice? 

Elijah and Jezebel is one of my favorite stories in the Bible because God made him take a nap and have a snack. I relate so well with that. Elijah was weary. So weary that he wished for death. His fear had taken too much from him. God had a mission for him but first he had to travel 40 days and 40 nights. Then there was a storm so violent rocks were shattered. Then an earthquake and then a fire. After all that – God was in the whisper.

My life is filled with so much noise. I am an expert at life avoidance. I love a good Netflicks binge or movie marathon. I regularly doom scroll for the sake of my nervous system. I’m tired. I probably need a nap and a snack, and a good walk. What I don’t do enough is unplug and just wait for the whisper. Even in my devotions, I’m active. I read a plan in YouVersion and the Daily Refresh. I journal my prayers to God and use a playlist to help me worship. But this weekend I felt God pulling me to just sit quietly. I went outside and soaked in the sunshine and just waited. I gave my brain some time to listen for the whisper. I don’t do this enough. How can God lead me, if I don’t know His voice?

He reminded me of Elijah. I hadn’t read that story in a while. I was struck with how Elijah immediately knew the voice of God. Like when my kids or husband call. They don’t have to say who they are. I know their voice.

Over the years there have been many instances where I felt God’s leading. Being unable to sleep in the middle of the night and realizing I was being led to pray for someone. Then the next day finding out why and that waiting until that day would have been too late. Or feeling lead to cut something out of my life. Not something that I feel like we aren’t permitted to do but something that’s not for me.

Right now, I’m being warned off of yoga. Probably a controversial stance. If you don’t feel lead to not open that door, then you probably aren’t. But I know that those poses are Hindu poses to gods. I know that the sun salutations, warrior poses and lotus are all related to the Hindu faith. My spirit feels lead to not use that form of exercise to try and take back my health even though it’s probably what would first be recommended. I had always had any icky feeling whenever I’ve attended a yoga class. It’s not for me. I know it’s God’s voice telling me no and I am going to be obedient.

Everything that God has led me to cut out of my life, I have found great value in that choice. Every time it has brought me closer to Him in my walk. Sometimes I get mad at how slow I’m changing to become more like Christ. Why is it taking so long to change my heart? Maybe I’m still on the journey, or still in the storm. But I’m waiting and giving God space to lead me. I’m giving my heart time to hear His voice so that I know it. Maybe some day I’ll simply follow Him every step instead of wandering off. Knowing me that seems unlikely but you never know. God does amazing things.

But first I have to listen for His whisper.

By Vicki L. Pugliese

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SWIFT ENCOURAGEMENT

There are numerous posts and photos recently of Taylor Swift standing to encourage another artist at the Grammys. Words praising her generosity of encouragement, or doubting her sincerity are both easily found. It brought to mind a time when I sang a solo at family camp. As someone young, I was told I had a great “choir voice” but not a solo voice. I was always very timid about singing solos. That night there was this young mom with bright red hair standing in the center of the back of the room, clearly cheering me on. Later that evening she made time to encourage me and tell me she enjoyed my solo and song choice (Adonai by Avalon).

That was over twenty years ago. Just a few moments of her time and sincere words of encouragement still mean something to me. I don’t even recall her name, but I can see her face clearly. Could she have just been being nice, sure, but those words seemed sincere to me.

I wonder, how often do I withhold my encouragement because I’m afraid that person won’t care or it’s not important? How often do thoughts of praise run through my mind that I don’t speak? Did God give me a chance to show someone love, and fear kept me from following through?

That one act twenty years ago – is still a solid memory. It still makes me feel good. Did I withhold a memory like that from someone? If I had known it would make them feel good twenty years later, would I still withhold it if given the chance to say it again? I sure am quick to send out snarky remarks and what I think is funny observations. I’m lightening fast with the sarcasm and rarely have a filter.

Maybe I could encourage more. Maybe I could simply speak the encouraging thoughts I’m thinking instead of worrying if the person cares, or if someone else will judge me. Even if I think, perhaps they have a choir voice, but I see their effort and desire to do their best, maybe I could encourage anyway. I could funnel God’s love that I feel in that moment. I could make sure that person knows I see them. Whether that means nothing to them, or they still recall it fondly years later. That’s really up to God, isn’t it. I just need to say, “Here I am Lord, use me.”

By Vicki L. Pugliese

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