Search

Introspective Sojourner

The journey inward following Christ’s path to that person I was uniquely created to be.

Tag

Leadership

Open Letter to the NFL

Dear NFL, it’s time to have a Dr. Phil moment. “How’s that working for you?” We’ve spent so much time and energy fighting over ‘how’ this important message gets made. Players boycotting the anthem. Fans boycotting the games. Owners supporting and openly standing against the ‘how’ – on a very basic right to protest. Give the players a time and place to make this statement.

The issue has never been that you don’t stand against racism or police brutality. The issue was always the ‘how’.

Colin Kaepernick wasn’t wrong that football games are a far reaching mechanism to get the word out. He wasn’t wrong to risk his career defending a desire to make this country better for all.

The misstep was in the ‘how’ and YOU have the power to not only bring us together but to show us you believe in the message.

Kneeling during the anthem will never stop offending certain groups such as veterans. They too have a valid point, paid for by the blood of their fellow veterans. It’s not okay to dismiss their sacrifice, but until the anthem is for all of us – it’s true meaning is lost.

What if the NFL sponsored the protest – provided a time and place? What if before we sing the anthem, we show all Americans that the anthem is for them. Allow players to meet at the center of the field, perhaps wearing black hats. Both teams, all races coming together for a minute of silence on their knees.

Toss out fans who are disrespectful or unsupportive. Putting a stop to racism is that important. Let’s find our solidarity.

When the minute of silence is over, let the players stand united for one country. The land of the free and the home of the brave. Sing the anthem that should be an anthem for all of us.

Respect the message Colin was trying to make while respecting the sacrifices of those who fought for his right to say his message, and his right to protest. It’s an important message.

Maybe if we look at ‘how’ we say our words as well as how important the words are, we can say even more. The ‘how’ speaks volumes by itself.

Let’s end the division and fight for our unity. Let’s kneel together for an America that is better for us all. MLB, NBA, NHL feel free to join the movement.

Maybe this idea still needs to be refined. It’s a great jumping off point. Help us stop fighting over a message we agree upon!

Sincerely,

Vicki L. Pugliese

Make America Kind Again

We’re expert judges. Shows like So You Think You Can Dance, Dancing With The Stars, American Idol, The Voice have given us years of experience and a feeling that we’re entitled to notice the mistakes of others. We have no problem, even though we are not in the industries discussing how a contestant is a little “pitchy”.  It’s easy to walk right on passed the line and declare a song or a dance a disaster, as if we could easily do better. Over a decade of judges like Simon Cowell and their harsh comments have desensitized us and sometimes find their way into our own words or at least our thoughts. We easily compare two dancers, singers and even songwriters now, forgetting that each person has their own gifts and strengths.

I can’t throw the first stone. As I have learned what the judges are looking for I now spot those tiny imperfections and jump to give my opinion to those watching with me. Not that I could ever dance or sing at those levels. I dismiss their hard work and dedication and the situation these reality shows have put them in as if it’s an easy undertaking.

Social media is not much different. We judge politicians, and even the general public without knowing these people at all. Sure some of us are very informed, but all of our life experiences and those things we hold dear color our perception of them. Words are taken out of context and compared with something someone else says. And for some unknown reason we have decided it’s fine for us to judge even common people we’ve never met. We make meme’s of silly pictures, ridiculing them. I can count myself among those who quickly share. I do enjoy a good chuckle. 

When social media first took off we were more careful, cautious with our words. We didn’t get into lengthy discussions with others of issues, some of which, don’t really mean that much to us. We simply get caught up in the conversation. Bullying on the internet is a well reported phenomenon and perhaps many of us have found ourselves on one side or the other of biting comments. We know better. We don’t treat each other this way in person. We’re much more apt to hold our tongue when we disagree face to face. Or maybe that’s just me. Little by little we slide. Little by little we change the line of what’s acceptable – so that we no longer expect people to be good citizens, kind and polite. We shrug off bad days and laugh when we feel like “what a B*!ch I was”. Little by little, that becomes the norm. Our language slightly looser than it was a decade ago. We’re actually impressed when someone is a decent human being. Suddenly they’re considered a hero. Someone who kindly brings a meal to the homeless, or helps a child with their bike chain. These are no longer common place and so, now, we consider them special for being so kind.

It didn’t happen all at once. The slip was slow and constant. I have seen the change in myself. In my expectations, my language and my actions. It’s easy to shrug them off instead of being saddened by the change, or embarrassed. It’s not really embarrassing anymore, if everyone around you is the same, is it? Or is that just me.

For me it’s time to turn around. Start the walk back up that slope. Be intentional about acts of kindness. Put others before myself – at least as often as I put myself first. It’s time to take my standards and place them somewhere above my expectations, not below. I’m only one. I can’t change anyone else’s mind. I can’t drag people up the hill with me. But I can openly admit I’m turning around, so at very least there are others out there who might question me if they find me heading back down. Accountability. I need that and if you find yourself on the other end of my unkindness – feel free to point that out. Because I want those standards of years gone by, and if my actions or my words might inspire you to join me – even better.

Today perhaps America or even the world is the tiniest bit kinder because I made that choice.

 

Written By

Vicki L. Pugliese

CEO of OurHome.Inc

Young man do you have big dreams of being the next Steve Jobs, Mark Zukerberg or Bill Gates?  Do you dream of being CEO or captain of industry or even a local manager at your own firm?  Leadership skills are often thought to be natural traits, one God wrote in the very fabric of the design of natural leaders.  Perhaps those potential leaders  naturally utilized  those God given talents.  Possibly those natural leaders took advantage of a training ground provided by God and learned to hone their leadership skills like any other skill you might learn instead.  Possibly you have been provided this same training ground on which you can learn leadership skills but you have not taken advantage of this supportive atmosphere.  Perhaps God actually expects you to step up and lead this little band of people that look just like you.  He expects nothing less than your best everyday.  Generations of people count on your abilities and performance actually!

Now if He gave you this training opportunity, He gave you a “second in command” who gives you a lot of input.  Are you wisely taking this input into consideration and utilizing the gift that is your second in command to the best of your ability, or are you shutting down this gift?  You took vows, you know her well.  Are you ensuring that your second in command is fully fed spiritually, nurtured and loved by you so that she is capable of passing on those qualities to the rest of your company, your children?  Are you praying daily for your second in command so that she is built up to fight any battle that comes her way?  You know there will be germs, hormones, trials and everyday things.  She needs all that support to keep her safe and spiritually filled.  She needs that support to be ready to help you lead that family of yours.

Many young men come home and have a need to talk about their day.  They need to unpack the events.  They go to work all day.   Jobs can be frustrating.  They just want to come home, have a moment or two to themselves and eat dinner.  They like to unpack their day and then after dinner just go and play a game on their cell phone or computer and let their attention disappear into the game.  They like to unwind that way.

They fail to see that their second in command who has been stuck at home alone with their children with little or no adult interaction also needs to unpack her day.  She spent her day prepping the meal, doing laundry, picking up after the kids for the hundredth time, assisting with homework, breaking up fights and helping with melt downs.  She also had a need to unload her day.  That young man may fail to see she needs to be filled up emotionally and spiritually.  He may miss signs that she is starting to run on empty and is in desperate need of prayer and his spiritual leadership.

God gave him this wonderful practice company, practice ground if you will, for him to learn excellent people skills, and leadership skills, all in an environment where everyone wants him to succeed! The problem is that the company of home wants him to succeed at leadership and not in any way shape or form at selfishness, that’s where it gets a little stickier.

God gave man a company of tiny people to manage.  Man just has to look up from his phone.  He has to remember that God gave him that responsibility but that he also chose them and to that end he should begin on his knees. He should remember that his wife and children have that same need for validation, connection, intimacy and love that he does.  Their needs being met are his responsibility even if he needs to delegate some of it. He, as their tiny tribal leader needs to monitor that this is completed, especially for his wife.

His family is a true practice ground.  He loves them perhaps more than he loves himself. They will be his legacy and a testimony to the skills he acquired.  They will also be more patient than any corporation ever would as he learns and fine tunes his skills.

It’s up to him to view it as a leadership opportunity and directive from God. A chance to prove to God he is grateful for the blessings that God gave him when God gave him his beautiful family.

Will he start each day on his knees?  Will you?  Will he put his phone down or put away other distractions ?  Will you?  Turn your TVs off and plug back into your family!  Make sure your second in command’s needs are met.  Make sure her spiritual cup is filled because those children feel like a spiritual battle some days!  Make sure she is fully ready to support you in your leadership mission and goals.  Use the gift of a second in command wisely! Listen to her, God may be speaking through her.  The best leaders work as a team.

Put your pride away, it has sharp edges and you’ll poke someone’s eye out.  Use every resource you have and train every day!    Use this great opportunity given to you by the great provider!  Learn to be the best leader you can be.  Soon someone outside the home will notice your skills, how could they not?!  There are so few truly good leaders out there.

Be a great leader.  The one God designed you to be.  Then go do something really awesome!

 

by Vicki L. Pugliese

 

media by Elizabeth Balch
http://www.elizabethbalch.com

People, The new Big Business exhaust

Big Business exhaust, in terms of people, appears to be on a dramatic rise, in my opinion. That thing that factories use to do; taking the finest resources, changing them, stripping from them whatever the factory determined was valuable, and then spewing out the waste.  That is what Big Business is doing to its “Human Resources” today.  The problem is, once they have over used or devalued a human being, broken down a person’s spirit until this particular business or team no longer finds this specific person useful, they then label this person as useless or defective.  This is often so far from the truth it doesn’t even resemble the truth.  It’s just that team’s or company’s pride and puffery.

Layoffs have occurred for years and people, even good people would get cut. Teams would get eliminated and excellent workers would find themselves pounding the pavement looking for employment.  They would find work, occasionally they would end up in a job that was a better match because they had not been as good a fit in their previous job.  Perhaps they had been reluctant to leave and look elsewhere before the layoff.  Looking for new employment can be a scary endeavor.  Some people find even looking for new employment disloyal.  This is a good quality in an employee!

Turn the clock to current times, post housing bubble, post flooding the market with work immigration visas, post world wide web infrastructure, outsourcing and off shoring, and the job market is very small. Suddenly a reality that actually always was true is now right up in your face. We are all replaceable, like removing a branch that was sticking straight up out of a pond.  The water fills back in immediately, instantly, as if the branch never existed.  There may be ripples but overall there will be no difference.  We should not think too highly of ourselves, because we are like that branch, all of us!  It may take hiring someone new, or even two new people.  Perhaps someone who never would have stepped up while a rock star employee existed will finally find the courage to make their move.  Make no mistake, you are not different.  Your skills are not unique.  Someone out there will learn them.  It may be painful for a season but like a ripple, you will be gone.  Pride has sharp edges.  Big Business is an organism and it will move on without you.

At one point in my life Big Business invested in their people. They ensured they were trained and built good teams.  They had teams of professionals, “human resources managers” to work through problems.  These individuals were not primarily used to hire and fire people as they are in many businesses today.  Once you were hired, if you ended up a square peg, they worked to find a square hole for you.  They didn’t want human exhaust. They invested in people and their well being.  This has not completely gone away.  In some cases unions have preserved this.  In some cases smaller businesses work themselves to preserve this way of life.  But by in large, the tides have changed.

In today’s society if you aren’t a good fit, not only will we kick you to the curb, but we will label you as a bad fit causing it to be more difficult for you to find employment next time.  Never for a second thinking possibly, you might be a great match for a different business or another team.  Never for a second do we stop and think that our team might be unique in some manner, or have unique methods or processes, or even be difficult to get along with.

This human exhaust process is creating a workplace PTSD nightmare. Employees who at one point were excellent workers, who ended up in a job that didn’t match their best skills, or on a team with a person who lacked good leadership skills are being crushed by Big Business in droves.  Employees, who took a chance on a team or a project that was later cut, are being caught in this exhaust system as well.  They took a risk and then found themselves in a job that wasn’t a match.  Some of them go on to find a safe workplace environment and bounce back.  Then there are others who hit a second or third mismatch and their workplace PTSD spirals out of control.  The market is tighter now.  The search is harder.  Now they have multiple mismatches to either hide on their resume or explain in an interview.  The process gets harder and harder.  They could have years of successful service to a single employer previously but that won’t matter in the interview.  The recent bouncing around will look suspicious.  No one will take the time to bring the resource back to health.  It’s just business to Big Business.  It’s just a simple Big Business by product at this point.  A person is now a by product!

Who picks up that tab? We do!  The American people!  Health care costs, welfare and services costs, or worse yet, if they get desperate enough, crime costs!  It all stems from a lack of concern.  It all stems from an attitude that it can’t happen to me!  But it could happen to you!  The wrong boss and the right situation and we are all replaceable.  You say you are stronger than that, but for how long?  How many rejections that lack merit will it take?  What if there was no merit to why you were laid off in the first place?  Perhaps your boss had a best friend that wanted your job, so your boss piled the work onto your plate.  You complain but your boss manages to keep your workload too high and then sites that your quality is slipping.  Layoffs roll around and your record shows that your quality is slipping and out you go.  Like a stick in the water, we are all replaceable.  Months later your boss is out on her can too.  We are all replaceable.  Pride has sharp edges.

The issue is, do you care that Big Business is creating human exhaust? That Big Business sometimes promotes people who lack leadership skills.  Bosses who believe that people are resources to be managed and not persons to be lead.  They are demoralizing and crushing good workers in droves.  Do you care that these workers who were contributing members of society are now crumbling?  They are becoming a drain instead?  Do you care?  Or are you just going to watch it happen to your next coworker, leader, subordinate?  Could an investment into the resources that are the most precious in this country have made a difference?  Perhaps a different team or a different job or some assistance working through a conflict would set this employee back to their previous rock star status.  Wouldn’t that be worth the effort?  Is it really that easy to give up?  Maybe they just needed to be appreciated.

That Big Business resource exhaust group with workplace PTSD are growing in numbers. What is scarier is they are growing in dependence on our countries services.  They are getting angrier and Big Business has made them unstable!  We need to care.  We need to invest in the only resource that ever mattered, the human resource.  Selfishness and narcissism will ruin our country as it has all other great nations of the past.  Big Business has broken free from country boundaries, in case that missed your notice.  It’s eating up people for lunch!  When it does that in your country, then your country pays to pick up the pieces.

It’s time to start seeing Big Business for what it is. It’s time to care about the kind of exhaust it puts out.  We reined in factories in the last century.  We can rein in Big Business in this one.  We just have to care.

 

By Vicki L. Pugliese

People, The new Big Business exhaust

Big Business exhaust, in terms of people, appears to be on a dramatic rise, in my opinion. That thing that factories use to do; taking the finest resources, changing them, stripping from them whatever the factory determined was valuable, and then spewing out the waste.  That is what Big Business is doing to its “Human Resources” today.  The problem is, once they have over used or devalued a human being, broken down a person’s spirit until this particular business or team no longer finds this specific person useful, they then label this person as useless or defective.  This is often so far from the truth it doesn’t even resemble the truth.  It’s just that team’s or company’s pride and puffery.

Layoffs have occurred for years and people, even good people would get cut. Teams would get eliminated and excellent workers would find themselves pounding the pavement looking for employment.  They would find work, occasionally they would end up in a job that was a better match because they had not been as good a fit in their previous job.  Perhaps they had been reluctant to leave and look elsewhere before the layoff.  Looking for new employment can be a scary endeavor.  Some people find even looking for new employment disloyal.  This is a good quality in an employee!

Turn the clock to current times, post housing bubble, post flooding the market with work immigration visas, post world wide web infrastructure, outsourcing and off shoring, and the job market is very small. Suddenly a reality that actually always was true is now right up in your face. We are all replaceable, like removing a branch that was sticking straight up out of a pond.  The water fills back in immediately, instantly, as if the branch never existed.  There may be ripples but overall there will be no difference.  We should not think too highly of ourselves, because we are like that branch, all of us!  It may take hiring someone new, or even two new people.  Perhaps someone who never would have stepped up while a rock star employee existed will finally find the courage to make their move.  Make no mistake, you are not different.  Your skills are not unique.  Someone out there will learn them.  It may be painful for a season but like a ripple, you will be gone.  Pride has sharp edges.  Big Business is an organism and it will move on without you.

At one point in my life Big Business invested in their people. They ensured they were trained and built good teams.  They had teams of professionals, “human resources managers” to work through problems.  These individuals were not primarily used to hire and fire people as they are in many businesses today.  Once you were hired, if you ended up a square peg, they worked to find a square hole for you.  They didn’t want human exhaust. They invested in people and their well being.  This has not completely gone away.  In some cases unions have preserved this.  In some cases smaller businesses work themselves to preserve this way of life.  But by in large, the tides have changed.

In today’s society if you aren’t a good fit, not only will we kick you to the curb, but we will label you as a bad fit causing it to be more difficult for you to find employment next time.  Never for a second thinking possibly, you might be a great match for a different business or another team.  Never for a second do we stop and think that our team might be unique in some manner, or have unique methods or processes, or even be difficult to get along with.

This human exhaust process is creating a workplace PTSD nightmare. Employees who at one point were excellent workers, who ended up in a job that didn’t match their best skills, or on a team with a person who lacked good leadership skills are being crushed by Big Business in droves.  Employees, who took a chance on a team or a project that was later cut, are being caught in this exhaust system as well.  They took a risk and then found themselves in a job that wasn’t a match.  Some of them go on to find a safe workplace environment and bounce back.  Then there are others who hit a second or third mismatch and their workplace PTSD spirals out of control.  The market is tighter now.  The search is harder.  Now they have multiple mismatches to either hide on their resume or explain in an interview.  The process gets harder and harder.  They could have years of successful service to a single employer previously but that won’t matter in the interview.  The recent bouncing around will look suspicious.  No one will take the time to bring the resource back to health.  It’s just business to Big Business.  It’s just a simple Big Business by product at this point.  A person is now a by product!

Who picks up that tab? We do!  The American people!  Health care costs, welfare and services costs, or worse yet, if they get desperate enough, crime costs!  It all stems from a lack of concern.  It all stems from an attitude that it can’t happen to me!  But it could happen to you!  The wrong boss and the right situation and we are all replaceable.  You say you are stronger than that, but for how long?  How many rejections that lack merit will it take?  What if there was no merit to why you were laid off in the first place?  Perhaps your boss had a best friend that wanted your job, so your boss piled the work onto your plate.  You complain but your boss manages to keep your workload too high and then sites that your quality is slipping.  Layoffs roll around and your record shows that your quality is slipping and out you go.  Like a stick in the water, we are all replaceable.  Months later your boss is out on her can too.  We are all replaceable.  Pride has sharp edges.

The issue is, do you care that Big Business is creating human exhaust? That Big Business sometimes promotes people who lack leadership skills.  Bosses who believe that people are resources to be managed and not persons to be lead.  They are demoralizing and crushing good workers in droves.  Do you care that these workers who were contributing members of society are now crumbling?  They are becoming a drain instead?  Do you care?  Or are you just going to watch it happen to your next coworker, leader, subordinate?  Could an investment into the resources that are the most precious in this country have made a difference?  Perhaps a different team or a different job or some assistance working through a conflict would set this employee back to their previous rock star status.  Wouldn’t that be worth the effort?  Is it really that easy to give up?  Maybe they just needed to be appreciated.

That Big Business resource exhaust group with workplace PTSD are growing in numbers. What is scarier is they are growing in dependence on our countries services.  They are getting angrier and Big Business has made them unstable!  We need to care.  We need to invest in the only resource that ever mattered, the human resource.  Selfishness and narcissism will ruin our country as it has all other great nations of the past.  Big Business has broken free from country boundaries, in case that missed your notice.  It’s eating up people for lunch!  When it does that in your country, then your country pays to pick up the pieces.

It’s time to start seeing Big Business for what it is. It’s time to care about the kind of exhaust it puts out.  We reined in factories in the last century.  We can rein in Big Business in this one.  We just have to care.

 

By Vicki L. Pugliese

CEO of OurHome.Inc

Young man do you have big dreams of being the next Steve Jobs, Mark Zukerberg or Bill Gates?  Do you dream of being CEO or captain of industry or even a local manager at your own firm?  Leadership skills are often thought to be natural traits, one God wrote in the very fabric of the design of natural leaders.  Perhaps those potential leaders  naturally utilized  those God given talents.  Possibly those natural leaders took advantage of a training ground provided by God and learned to hone their leadership skills like any other skill you might learn instead.  Possibly you have been provided this same training ground on which you can learn leadership skills but you have not taken advantage of this supportive atmosphere.  Perhaps God actually expects you to step up and lead this little band of people that look just like you.  He expects nothing less than your best everyday.  Generations of people count on your abilities and performance actually!

Now if He gave you this training opportunity, He gave you a “second in command” who gives you a lot of input.  Are you wisely taking this input into consideration and utilizing the gift that is your second in command to the best of your ability, or are you shutting down this gift?  You took vows, you know her well.  Are you ensuring that your second in command is fully fed spiritually, nurtured and loved by you so that she is capable of passing on those qualities to the rest of your company, your children?  Are you praying daily for your second in command so that she is built up to fight any battle that comes her way?  You know there will be germs, hormones, trials and everyday things.  She needs all that support to keep her safe and spiritually filled.  She needs that support to be ready to help you lead that family of yours.

Many young men come home and have a need to talk about their day.  They need to unpack the events.  They go to work all day.   Jobs can be frustrating.  They just want to come home, have a moment or two to themselves and eat dinner.  They like to unpack their day and then after dinner just go and play a game on their cell phone or computer and let their attention disappear into the game.  They like to unwind that way.

They fail to see that their second in command who has been stuck at home alone with their children with little or no adult interaction also needs to unpack her day.  She spent her day prepping the meal, doing laundry, picking up after the kids for the hundredth time, assisting with homework, breaking up fights and helping with melt downs.  She also had a need to unload her day.  That young man may fail to see she needs to be filled up emotionally and spiritually.  He may miss signs that she is starting to run on empty and is in desperate need of prayer and his spiritual leadership.

God gave him this wonderful practice company, practice ground if you will, for him to learn excellent people skills, and leadership skills, all in an environment where everyone wants him to succeed! The problem is that the company of home wants him to succeed at leadership and not in any way shape or form at selfishness, that’s where it gets a little stickier.

God gave man a company of tiny people to manage.  Man just has to look up from his phone.  He has to remember that God gave him that responsibility but that he also chose them and to that end he should begin on his knees. He should remember that his wife and children have that same need for validation, connection, intimacy and love that he does.  Their needs being met are his responsibility even if he needs to delegate some of it. He, as their tiny tribal leader needs to monitor that this is completed, especially for his wife.

His family is a true practice ground.  He loves them perhaps more than he loves himself. They will be his legacy and a testimony to the skills he acquired.  They will also be more patient than any corporation ever would as he learns and fine tunes his skills.

It’s up to him to view it as a leadership opportunity and directive from God. A chance to prove to God he is grateful for the blessings that God gave him when God gave him his beautiful family.

Will he start each day on his knees?  Will you?  Will he put his phone down or put away other distractions ?  Will you?  Turn your TVs off and plug back into your family!  Make sure your second in command’s needs are met.  Make sure her spiritual cup is filled because those children feel like a spiritual battle some days!  Make sure she is fully ready to support you in your leadership mission and goals.  Use the gift of a second in command wisely! Listen to her, God may be speaking through her.  The best leaders work as a team.

Put your pride away, it has sharp edges and you’ll poke someone’s eye out.  Use every resource you have and train every day!    Use this great opportunity given to you by the great provider!  Learn to be the best leader you can be.  Soon someone outside the home will notice your skills, how could they not?!  There are so few truly good leaders out there.

Be a great leader.  The one God designed you to be.  Then go do something really awesome!

 

by Vicki L. Pugliese

 

media by Elizabeth Balch
http://www.elizabethbalch.com

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑