The day is just around the corner for my son. A save the date card arrived in the mail nearly a year ago. Can that be possible? I was going to lose 10 pounds, just 15 more to go. We started off with Pinterest pins and ideas. We live so far away. Mostly we started worrying about that airfare. Then a location for the ceremony was found and invitations sent. Suddenly there were plans being made. So many plans, connecting so many people, as bridesmaids and groomsmen were selected.
Next came the attire and the look and feel of the wedding. Our daughter in law to be is quite the planner, but gracious and thoughtful, not pushy. Lives roared forward disrespecting the importance of this time. We turned around and it was time to buy those tickets, rent those tuxes, and buy the dresses and shoes. We were making plans to meet up with family and work out schedules in our tiny trip East. The stress was mounting as the pressure to accommodate as much as possible stacked up. It was really starting to affect me.
Yet here I am in a quiet moment where the sacred breaks back through. Remembering my son when he was still so tiny. He was a leg hugger. He’s six foot five now. I look up to him instead. Back then he had this sweet innocent smile and big blue eyes. I would tossel his unruly hair and he would hug me with his whole body. My little leg ornament, leg warmer. I would pray for this upcoming moment. I would pray for my daughter in law to be. I have for all of my children and now my grandchildren. It started shortly after this son was born, my second oldest.
It seemed so natural back then. This sweet little soul that God would mold. Please guide me as a parent. I should have prayed that part a lot more. Help me to love the man he will become and not some idea of what I think he should be. Be with him and his future spouse. Guard their souls. Gently guide them together. Help them to love life, to be loyal and faithful to each other, keeping you first God. Help them to love to laugh. I may have prayed this part too much with this child. Help them to work hard, and have integrity, and to be content with what they have. Help them to be gentle and kind, and love each other, not only as spouses but as best friends. Mostly help them to allow grace to cover the rest.
Over thirty years I’ve prayed a prayer similar to that. Since before she was even born. I asked God for just the right spouses for all of my children. In a couple of weeks, I’ll be two for two. God is good.
Yet he’s still my little boy, even if I look up at him now… way up at him. He’s becoming that man God wants him to be. I’m so very proud of him. He makes me laugh. He’s so much of those things I prayed for all of those years. There might be a little room for grace but as we approach the wedding day, the sacred breaks through.
He’s just my perfect little boy with bright blue eyes and unruly hair… and that smile that melts my heart. My little leg warmer. He became a man somewhere along the road, just not in my heart.
The day is coming. Our family gladly welcoming this precious girl we’ve waited for, for so long. When your vows are said and day is done, may God’s blessing be my gift to you each and every day.
With all my love,